Haste

Oh, what haste,
I've left my former self to waste,
But you abandoned your heart unguarded,
And all I wanted was a taste.

You've established your place as my self-proclaimed prize,
Resisting the struggle but all the more wise:
A disintegration of all our previous ties,
A confession of inertia's ceaseless demise;
Concussed in lust, cocooned in desire,
I felt our longing a compromise;
Now but a victim dancing in your hungry fire,
So brilliantly illuminated in your scarlet eyes.

Inviting me to blend our willing flesh -
To dutifully leave our skepticism behind,
To conjure a sinful innocence,
Unsure of the rapture I would find.
I was captivated, nonetheless,
With anticipation of a cruelly endearing unrest,
Tempting me to tenderly unwind
Each ecstatic bit of you one moment at a time.

Our synchronized pulse is a bind of my will,
With irresistible resistance drawing me nearer to you still.
Then melted and merged I find we're finally alive,
Each gray matter thought pattern intertwined;
Tiptoeing in, cascading out,
Silently, proudly professing all martyred doubts.

Partially unaware of what I might find.
Truly you intrigued me, your flame cast beneath me,
Your flaws no longer a burden of any kind.
So I overcame you in an omniscient state,
And you conquered me with a peaceful mind,
And though I know I will not stay -
We will not, cannot, endure or remain -
Our love will end in beautiful disarray
Since ghostly is the chasm that serves to separate.

But in these breathless moments now,
I'm astounded how much that breach does allow.
Me consumed in you, you devoured in me,
With barely enough energy to please each nerve ending.
Aware of each impulse - the receiving, the sending;
Our bodies demolished - the breaking, the bending;
Our souls rejuvenation - the molding, the mending;
Proof that love can be both deep and relenting.
 My God, did you glow; my God, how you begged,
With a greedy appetite I selflessly fed.

Despite how powerfully this passion began
We embarked knowing there would be an end,
We embraced realizing it was useless to pretend -
Back when monotone emotions stirred from a single glance
And tepid tensions boiled beneath a simple utterance
Back when we began, back then....

And of all the things with which we could be filled
We chose each other, these short-lived thrills,
Able to smother and harness untameable will.

Then as quickly as I had abandoned myself
I had to retreat to my original shell;
Again taking refuge in self control,
Alone and whole;
Prowling for yet another soul,
I severed our bond allowing the ebb to flow;
A silent departure - we knew it would never grow,
For when we commenced we fused at full potential.

Oh, what haste we say goodbye for an eternal while,
Fearless, flawless, with faceless smiles;
A trial of resilience, a bold denouncement of denial,
A declaration that attachment remains complacently futile.

Untitled II

I was hungry with nothing to eat
My teeth scattered across the filthy concrete
Visibly uneasy as I claimed defeat
I was lonely... but you weren't there for me.

So I screamed as loud as my lungs would allow
Until my voice went hoarse and blood filled my mouth
Tears formed depressions on the dirty ground
I was desperate...but you were nowhere to be found.

Then I compounded myself with false capacity
That midnight gloom devouring my sanity
And your shadow was there only to laugh at me
I was afraid... but you clung to your apathy

I wanted to KILL, I wanted to die
I foolishly wanted you to sympathize
I knew your persistent absence could never suffice
I was enraged... but you wouldn't compromise.

I trusted my instincts without even thinking
I followed faithlessly without believing
But no sense of relief came from my leaving
I was lost... and I know you'll never seek me.