Wishbone

'Pucker up,' these streets were screaming,
So I'm tasting the asphalt again,
Planting kiss upon kiss on the tire worn pavement,
Allowing the remnants to sift through my barren hands;
The light post pouring reminders upon me
That it was in this spot our story first began...

Someone will have to coax me down,
Gently, now-
The ground relentlessly beckons me from this balcony,
Calling me,
Still calling me yet...
Vowing not to let me forget
That it was here our lips first met.

From afar
The ocean waves crash much the same,
A generic vision captured in my memory unchanged.
But upon the shore
I'm experiencing so much more,
Still hearing our voices with the wind,
And still seeing our footprints in the sand
From the time you and I first realized
How perfect wandering felt side by side.

I remember this raw energy,
The people so busy, hustling by.
None of them seemed to notice
That this was the first time you didn't sit close.
Istantly I knew that something was wrong;
You stayed long enough to explain that you're moving on,
Then rushed off and melted with the crowd,
And just like that: you were gone.
Dazed,
For some time I remained in a decrepit state.
My desperation seeped onto the table, my chair,
Completely infected the air,
And alarmingly, as I sit here today,
I feel as void as the afternoon you walked away.

Now these four walls entangle my consciousness,
I'm reversing the situation for my own sake,
Finally discovering simplicity in all of this,
For finally, I can say:
That I hope you enjoy choking on the wishbone
I just dislodged from my own throat;
Yes I want to see you bleed,
Just one more time for me.

And I think it's about time I've found me
Solid ground to rest my aching limbs
Since I strayed too far into the deep end again.
But I left all false hopes
In the belly of that callous underworld,
Glad now that time has passed
Since you had me fully submerged.
Nowadays, I refuse to revoke the airflow.
These days, I've fully regained my foothold
Having fully, 
Fearlessly, 
Finally let you go.

Someone Has a Secret

Retreating to a cobwebbed corner,
I've left the core of my soul to waste.
Trust or defeat?..I chose the former,
For in past times it was myself I'd isolate.
While the shadows demand that my pupils dialate
Digress, I beg,
Direct your footsteps another way.
Internally wearied by your endless tearflow,
I save my days for hunting your hero;
The night time for lullabies to lay him down,
Sodden notes,
Fallen anectdotes all around
Surrounding your dirt filled ears with sound.
Miracles are waiting to fade from the scene
Fazing me from far out of reach,
But I'm about to take a hold and slow,
Slow or else I won't,
I won't have time to sort which emotion I should suffocate.
Do you think I really missed your descent from grace?
No, the lies that spilled out now gravitate.
Oh, someone has a secret,
Someone has a secret dangling in my face,
Yes someone came equipped with some sinfully alluring bait.
Now rise against the ocean waves,
The sun rays in the desert,
Fuse the elements together just for fun
I know you've always craved such power
And I'll take what I've learned and run,
I'll run forever.
Forever sinking in regret,
Forever straining to forget.
Forever forgetting to remember
That it's so simple: I simply deserve better.

A Little More Betrayed

Slow Down, Don't utter such distasteful words just now. Patience, As I'm trying to find serentity in this cruel existense. Trying with all my might To increase the distance between us tonight. Dissecting myself to figure this out, You've got me stumbling, Struggling, Stuttering steps back to sanity; And nothing said eases my doubts, Only you can clarify reality now. Vague impressions of you left across my skin, My mind, I've circulated through each emotion thousands of times. I've rearranged myself to fit you more completely, To fulfill all of your needs, And while I'm fully consumed by you it seems, You devote your attention to such meaningless things... Utterly senseless, I'm dragged to my senses again, I awoken to realize That it's your heart I'll never win. So unsure you'd ever choose me, Yet I stick around for you to use me. Abandon me, Abuse me, And all the secrets I've been exposing- The feelings I've never tried to hide, The same ones you fabricated to me.. And still I wonder why you lied. Still I cry sometimes My tears to douse the embers inside, To cleanse a bleeding heart That beats itself undone for no one. I wish you'd feel my tears upon your face, Just so you'll turn to where they come from And see me in their place. It's no longer a matter of strength, I'm more concerned with how I'd ever walk away- What would it take, Would I be wrong? What if I'm finally remembered once I'm gone? All this time spent suffocating, Such a waste of air, Relating something to nothing when nothing was there. Patterns of emptiness plagueing me lately, But are you even aware? And last of all I fall from you, If dreams come true, Then soon You should be falling too. Into me, I'll hold you so closely, Make you wonder how you ever smiled without me. Only then I think you'd see How sublimely your life could be lived beside me.. At one time I thought I could lower your guard enough, It would have been that easy If only you weren't so afraid of love

Rebirth

One foot after the other,
I devoured the alien territory in front of me;
I took a walk around, for hours exploring the geography,
Every street corner I stalked unaware,
Noting each lightpost, mailbox, and graffitied sidewalk square.
The scenery changed, and,
Eventually my journey ended where I began.
Finally, this was enough,
To make me feel okay
With this vast expanse we rely on to exist.
To have you so close at heart when you're far away
Is more than mere chance or consequence.
Gratefully, as I toured my own city,
I accomplished a feat I never thought I'd achieve;
I escaped the bonds of my pride-muddled mind,
In my sacrifice I learned that I was living a pitiful lie:
This whole time I was forged, I was plagiarized.
And in the moment I overcame my self-obsession
You were there with a tender expression
As a sum of all my aimless searching;
In your eyes I lost grasp of my former insecurities.
I could say I found my way,
But this would not be sufficient enough -
I shed a shell the devil himself was far too fond of.
After all the unattentive wandering I've done
My sobering assessment conquered my inhibitions.
Now as I relive my awakening through these words,
I feel cured,
For still I feel you near me.
And now that I see what I used to be,
How else could I say:
That mind, body and soul,
I'm amazed at how you've captured me so.