A Little More Betrayed

Slow Down, Don't utter such distasteful words just now. Patience, As I'm trying to find serentity in this cruel existense. Trying with all my might To increase the distance between us tonight. Dissecting myself to figure this out, You've got me stumbling, Struggling, Stuttering steps back to sanity; And nothing said eases my doubts, Only you can clarify reality now. Vague impressions of you left across my skin, My mind, I've circulated through each emotion thousands of times. I've rearranged myself to fit you more completely, To fulfill all of your needs, And while I'm fully consumed by you it seems, You devote your attention to such meaningless things... Utterly senseless, I'm dragged to my senses again, I awoken to realize That it's your heart I'll never win. So unsure you'd ever choose me, Yet I stick around for you to use me. Abandon me, Abuse me, And all the secrets I've been exposing- The feelings I've never tried to hide, The same ones you fabricated to me.. And still I wonder why you lied. Still I cry sometimes My tears to douse the embers inside, To cleanse a bleeding heart That beats itself undone for no one. I wish you'd feel my tears upon your face, Just so you'll turn to where they come from And see me in their place. It's no longer a matter of strength, I'm more concerned with how I'd ever walk away- What would it take, Would I be wrong? What if I'm finally remembered once I'm gone? All this time spent suffocating, Such a waste of air, Relating something to nothing when nothing was there. Patterns of emptiness plagueing me lately, But are you even aware? And last of all I fall from you, If dreams come true, Then soon You should be falling too. Into me, I'll hold you so closely, Make you wonder how you ever smiled without me. Only then I think you'd see How sublimely your life could be lived beside me.. At one time I thought I could lower your guard enough, It would have been that easy If only you weren't so afraid of love