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I am me, it's all I know to be
Me being me, at times reluctantly
Some moments sad, some moments happy
Outlooks always alternating
But this is me, and me is all I can be.

My self loathing ways have consumed entire days
And self-righteous fights have created sleepless nights
I've tried, I've failed
I've let my most shameful thoughts prevail
I've been both a mirage and oasis for those I've called friends
But this is still who I am, in the end

So if I am made of emotions that are fleeting
And phantom pains that are temporary
And thoughts that either empower or defeat me
Then I can find comfort in knowing
That the simplest form of me being me
Is a beating heart that is open and steady
A bleeding heart that is warm and ready.

But this heart of mine has limits, you see
It cannot love another before I love me
Before I accept me as a being only progressively complete
As an imperfect exception to a blueprint of perfection

Now you can be you, that's all you can do
You can project your depression in destructive ways
You can protect your fears to push love away
It's your choice to judge me, or even try and nudge me
But don't expect that anything you deflect my way will stay
For I may be impressionable but I will not be swayed.

You want me to be more, yet easier for you if I were damaged
You encourage in me humility, yet imply I be savage
You want me to be better, yet battered
Braggable, yet broken
You prefer I follow the same insane patterns
That landed you at lonely.

See this, too, I can be
Which makes you not so different from me
Perhaps weighted with more burden than you flaunt
I am stronger, kinder, all the wiser
Not more than you, just more than you want.

And though at times I may feel hollow
My God has already illuminated my path
And it's the only one I will choose to follow.